Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
