I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
