this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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