Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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