Need sex. Gaining weight.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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