I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
