How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
