Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
