so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
