All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You need Xanax blowdarts
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
