Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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