If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
