she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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