My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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