fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
