Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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