Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
