shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
