plz talk dirty to me
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize