Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
