If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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