he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
