I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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