Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
