I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
