She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
