yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
