Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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