Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
