did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
