Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
