There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize