No, drunk sperm still make babies.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize