Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize