hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
