I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
