Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
