Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
