Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
