come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
