I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
