i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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