Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
