He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
