Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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