my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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