I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
