you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
