how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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