I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
