it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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