Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
