Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
