I must be too annoying 4 u.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
