Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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