One girl and one boy is just not enough.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
sex in a hospital.. check
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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