She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Boobs speak an international language.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
