four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
